InsaneJournal

Take action with healing.
Since the entry I was planning on posting tonight won't actually be posted tonight (I was writing at at work and accidentally left it there), I've decided to write on something a bit more personal. I want to write about healing action. This is a rather long but poignant excerpt, so please bear with me.

Alan Clements: Experience shows that there is often a lag period between the trauma and the action to overcome it. It's a temporary paralysis of the spirit, so to speak. How can one breathe positive significance into despair and hopelessness? How might one give it spiritual meaning and value and turn it around to make it work in his favor?

Aung San Suu Kyi: Let me try to explain this with a very down-to-earth example. I have often noticed this: when there is a simple household crisis, such as for example, the pressure-cooker bursting and throwing soup all over the kitchen ceiling, my first reaction is: "All right, calm down." Just tackle it. Because if you just stand there saying, "The pressure-cooker has burst and it's spurting all over the place," you can get into an absolute tizz. But my reaction is to say, "Well, there's no point getting into a tizz. I can't wish the soup back into the pressure-cooker simmering away in safety. I've just got to get on with cleaning it up." So I turn off the gas, and then I get a rag to clean up the mess. That in itself calms you down. You've got to work. If you're apathetic or filled with hopelessness and despair you've got to do what you can. I can't do anything about the fact that I have lose half the soup. But I can certainly clean up all traces of the disaster. Then I can start thinking, "Now, should I cook a bit more soup? Or should I supplement it with something else?" You get down to work and don't just stand there despairing. That's what I would say to people who feel hopeless and despairing: "Don't just sit there. Do something."

AC: So, in other words, the positive action itself is the healing?

ASSK: Yes. There's always something you can do if you really put your mind to it. I do believe that.

AC: Do you feel that there is ever a need for intimate discussion about the often traumatizing emotions of despair and grief without being indulgent?

ASSK: Of course there is. After all, the bursting of a pressure-cooker is a very minor crisis. But with big crises, for example the loss of a loved one, I believe that people must be allowed to talk about it and work through their feelings. But at the same time, you must encourage these people to get on with life; not just to sit and grieve over the person they have lost. So you have to give them all the emotional support you can, but also try to find something practical for them to do. Such as, to think of those who are still alive and to do something for them.

The act of healing can be anything, but one of the most practical ways to go about healing is by identifying the part of you that feels despair and then doing something with that to show how amazing it is. For example, one's body. If one is feeling despair over one's body - my body's too fat, it's too tall, it's too acne-prone, etc. - then doing something that uses your body, no matter how minuscule, will really help. You don't overcome the despair you feel with your body by making it thin, but rather by realizing how amazing you're fat body is - look at the systems and actions our bodies ourselves take. It's bloody incredible. Look how much your fat body can do. It can form it's own momentum to pick up a glass and lift it. It can do tai chi. It can hug someone in pain and give them warmth and comfort. Those are all incredible, wonderful things. Even the act of breathing.

One of my personal preferences for healing action is speaking about what I want to be true. Sometimes, I become frustrated at behaviour - if people are selfish, or inconsiderate, or mindlessly insensitive. But one can recognize that by becoming frustrated with that behaviour, one risks misconstruing the act with the person. Therefore, I verbally note that if a person is inconsiderate, or selfish or the like, that they may not mean to have done as such - and if I verbally lambaste them, as I wish to, that I will lose any chance for meaningful emotionally-affirming dialogue which is one of the only methods leading to beneficial long-term growth (both culturally and personally). In ignoring that possibility, I will contribute to a culture that alienates people and teaches them that suppressing the majority of our emotions is the only way to survive. I don't want to contribute to that. It's destroyed too much already. By actually vocalizing it, I bring my listening skills in and I begin to feel what I am saying.

Sometimes I fall into such despair over what I've done or said or acted or just how I live. So I affirm the fact that I am feeling that way, and I do something about it. Like now. The act of me writing this affirms that as much as I may make mistakes in the past or feel unwanted, that by writing I am actively contributing to the promotion of a loving radical feminist politic. By doing this, I am affirming my own feelings and working for the benefit of myself and others. In acting in service of the needs of others, I affirm that I can contribute in a meaningful way to both the world and to that specific person. This will allow my sense of self to make way for selfless intention; the intent to do work for the benefit of others with your focus on them. Meaningful selfless intent (where one acts primarily for the benefit of others, but recognizes self-benefit as well) is different from pathological self-intent (recognized often within people who wish to become martyrs in order to be appreciated or noticed).

Community is also so important in terms of healing. One needs to have others who support them to affirm their own feelings of worth and appreciating the hard work we do as human beings. I believe that this is an area that we, as a species, can improve on - both the open giving of compliments, and the receiving of them. Quite frankly, due to the mass oppression instituted by white-supremacist capitalist ableist Patriarchy, the former is much easier to cultivate than the latter. People of minority status are still justified in feeling a great deal of suspicion towards those of privilege, because the use of compliments is often a strategy the person who is complementing uses in order to get what they want. The only meaningful way to heal such suspicion is by being sincere, respectful and sensitive of the complimented party's agency and personhood. Compliments also only work as affirming motivation if the person has established that their personhood is priceless.

As well, privileged parties should also realize that a compliment is not an end, is as an acknowledgment of the progressive work that one has done thus far. It is not an acknowledgment of permanent success. I believe in complimenting the effort a person has put in, because it vocally affirms the effort put into an act - even if it is the minimum. Life is inherently difficult, and while reaching the minimum may be easy for some it is difficult for others. Acknowledging a person's effort is empowering and empowerful. But we do not give compliments to mark the end of said difficult work. Hard work can and will not disappear because being actively kind, courageous, sensitive and honest is inherently difficult. Compliments must always be followed by a 'continue the effort'. The effort must continue, because the act of contributing to the creation of a loving feminist world is evergoing.

Contributing the the creation of a loving feminist world is in itself a healing act; for ourselves and the world. That is the crux of healing - it may focus on one individual, but the consequences of healing are beneficial for all of us. By focusing on healing our mental health (by affirming social justice for all), and recognizing the interconnectedness of our status as human beings, the act of healing will be the revolution necessary for the human spirit.